CLASSIC NPK: GOSSIP GIRL

Well, the holidays are over and I'm closing in on my 50th vlog for TV WITHOUT PITY. Just wrapped #46, about BIGGEST LOSER, a couple minutes ago-- in fact, me and *the crew are gonna have a cast party in just a bit.

For now though, enjoy this vloggy gem about Gossip Girl from our treasured collective past until my next posting tomorrow.

I'll help you answer the deepening question, "Is 'Gossip Girl' really about the moral apathy that only the truly wealthy can experience -- or just awful people saying awful things about each other?"




*Carol Hartsell and our new puppy Fenchurch or "Fenny" for short.

Yet another blog list of 2009 predictions

... But these are all true and fer reals...

1. Newspapers will be triumphantly resurrected as the Nation's cold climate populace realizes junk mail is just too glossy to start fires.

2.The Yankees will win the World Series, sending Boston fans back to their bitter, worthless lives, thus returning the Earth to its proper axis.

3. Bubbles. Millions of them. We won't know where or when.

4. Dr. Phil will physically merge with Oprah Winfrey, to become a giant bi-polar hermaphrodite with Southern charm and propensity to spend cash on everything seen on, or near a celebrity. "Dr. Phoprah" becomes the Democratic nominee in 2012.

5. Somebody will piss me off. I won't know where or when.

6. Spring will follow Winter, with Summer following Spring, giving way to Fall and then onto a total erasure of the World's population, due to a cancer cure gone wrong and Will Smith's incompetence.

7. Sean Crepso will reveal his true identity as the guy on "Psyche".

8. I will lose 40 pounds - You here me, guy-I-never-met-before-but-felt-he-needed-to-point-out-my-weight-problem-on-New-Year's Eve? Yeah, you. I'm lookin' at you. Jerk.

9. Freejack.

10. I will be spotted at Gritty McDuff's in Portland, Maine.

"I AM DRUGS" YOUTUBE COMMENTS JUST KEEP GETTING BETTER (READ: INSANE)

Every here and again, a new batch of folks seem to stumble upon the satiric film series I co-wrote with Matt Preskenis (directed by Alan Harris), "I AM DRUGS," winner of the 2005 ECNY Award for best short film, ahem.

And 9 times out of a largely retarded 10, these folks deposit a treasure trove of long posts sharing their misguided wrath. The scariest thing is that most of the time, people don't seem to understand that the 5 shorts are just a joke. That's all. A goof. You know, for laughs.

However it's almost an honor that some folks don't know it's fake, which is always a sign of strong satire, ahem again, mingling the mimicking and mocking seamlessly enough that it's hard to tell the intention of the creators...at first.

But it's partly a horror too.

The description of the short series is right there to see for F's sake:
a five spot pro-drug PSA campaign. First appeared in the comedy sketch show "The Rise and Fall of Saturday Night."

If that doesn't red flag it for ya, by the time you get to, I don't know, say the second short film in the series, you should be pretty aware it's comedy, that we're making fun of actual PSA's about staying off drugs, that we purposefully created worst case scenarios for our spokesmen to sound off about proudly.

Unless you're 90% of Youtube viewers.

Sigh.

And now, I'd like to share with you, once again, I AM DRUGS parts 1-5. Each short will be followed by a screen grab of some of the latest, greatest comments. I hope you enjoy them as much as I do. Which is impossible. Since my joy is fueled by hate...which is limitless.

Like Cthuhlu.

ALCOHOL


WEED



HEROIN





PCP



Dimethyltryptamine 42

RECESSION COMEDY: SOAP DIJEST

This is one my favorite pieces from my days at JEST Magazine. The comedy of decadence is definitely a mine I return to frequently in my writing, but in economic times this bleak, luxury lovers everywhere seem to stick out ever more egregiously. And given the conservative policies that are the source of our national fiscal plight, returning to the insidiously, baroquely moneyed world of "Republican Heights" seemed appropriate.

I apologize for the hodge podge image upload, as well as for using the words "hodge podge" at 9 am. I'm sure Carol could make this work seamlessly, but I lack her, as the Italians call it, "technorati." Anyway, I could only get this darn tootin (again, apologies) piece up on the site in 4 separate jpgs, so it'll simply have to do until the image-melding website fairy that is the Carol returns from Alabama.

If the words are too small, just click on each image individually and it will pop up in a larger form.

I know, I know. And I'm very sorry to add another laborious step in what is already turning into a Herculean effort of attention on your 21st Century, twitter trained mind.

Is it a pain? Yes.
Is it worth it though? Yes.
Is it best to do things in threes? Yes.
Then why didn't I stop at that last sentence? Yes.

Now go. Be on your way, reader, and remember my motto:

"Vesuvius Est Volcano!"

Truer words, huh? Truer words...

Man of Hazardium

DJ Hazard — comedy legend, gentleman, scholar — has just released a new album. If you've ever seen DJ perform, you already know his album is destined to become an indispensable addition to your comedy collection. If you haven't seen him, then this will be a great introduction. Have you heard the word gravitas before? This is the guy who invented it. We love him. And so do you.

Buy it. Live it.

Album Notes...

Man Of Hazardium
© 2008 DJ Hazard (634479963346) (format: CD-R)

This is DJ Hazard's third and most comprehensive comedy/music CD to date. Over an hour of performances recorded from 1988 to 2008 in theaters, comedy clubs, coffee houses and studio sessions throughout North America from 1988 to 2008.

A founding member of the infamous Ding Ho Club (whose members include Steven Wright, Bobcat Goldthwait, Paula Poundstone, Jimmy Tingle and Denis Leary) Hazard went on to tour nearly all of North America, achieving near cult status along the way.

BELATED XMAS COMEDY from the kids at COLLARS UP

MACY'S SANTA AUDITIONS



And let me just say...this video is belated because of me, not Alan "I AM DRUGS" Harris at Collars Up. I was supposed to post this days ago but, well, I guess I got busy living, not busy dying.

I am a tall drink of water.

Shawshankly Yours,
Seandy Dufrain.

Come to the Hot Comix Free for All on Monday

Come check out this free show at Comix featuring Sean Crespo and other great comics. Details below from the Comix web site:

THERE IS NO COVER CHARGE FOR THIS PERFORMANCE. YOU MUST CALL 212-524-2500 TO MAKE A RESERVATION!

THERE IS A TWO-ITEM MINIMUM PER PERSON IN THE SHOWROOM.

Featuring
Sean Crespo
Mr. Napkins
Amy Schumer
Jordan Rubin


In light of the current financial downward turn, Comix is offering select shows as FREE FOR ALL! That’s right! Anyone can get in for FREE.

Check out Hot Comix this week to see why Gothamist and New York Magazine have praised this all-pro showcase featuring the best of New York's and the nation's comics who have been seen on Comedy Central, HBO, Late Show with David Letterman, Late Night with Conan O’Brien, Late Late Show with Craig Fergesun and The Daily Show!

And of course a HAPPY HOLIDAYS from DAW's Immediate Family

Happy Holidays from DRINK AT WORK and our Extended Family

MISFORTUNE COOKIES